Sound of Madness

There is a calming feeling that becomes me when I think of the things I have endured in my life, opposed to where I am right now. The many times in my existence that I had wished I was born someone else are many. The nights I cried myself to sleep are also...many. Now, however, there are no more sleepless nights, no more tears, and no more wondering why I was cursed. For the only thoughts that creep into my head are that of happiness, hope and freedom. 32 years and finally free from misery's grip. A prisoner in a dungeon deep Sat musing silently; His head was rested on his hand, His elbow on his knee. Turned he his thoughts to future times Or are they backward cast? For freedom is he pining now Or mourning for the past? ~Anne Bronte

That had to have been the best day of my life. The children did great, and everything turned out perfect. It was very romantic, and as we read our vows to each other, I had this sense of calmness fall over me. It was sureal. I am on a high right now. We were truly very happy. Long deep breaths are in order....Whew!

This has got to be the most chaotic week I will ever have. Hopefully by Saturday I wont be dragging myself down the aisle, barely awake. I seriously doubt I will sleep at all the next few days. I am not getting the dreaded cold feet though. I am actually looking forward to marrying that man. He has been so awesome lately. Amidst my craziness, he is calm and so helpful. 5 more days until the happiest day of my life.

Look into my eyes, what do you see? Admiration Pride Do you see? A look that says Everything will be okay You’ve calmed me Made me feel normal again Can you hear my heart? It beats for you Take my hand Walk with me a while Talk to me Tell me your fears I’ll listen My soul feels comfort The solitude has vanished I’ve been found No more hiding The moment you were born I knew I treasured you The perfect child Smiling so bright Thank you Jesse...You’ve rescued me more times than you know

Okay, I found this website. He is a photographer named Eolo Perfido. Check it out... http://www.eoloperfido.com/portfolio.htm What an amazing talent this man has! I think this pic is my favorite. It really rather depicts my life up until last year. I'd love to have that "eye" to be a great photographer. I think that it would be so rewarding to do it. Ah but alas, my calling is in the wine field. I'll be using more of my smelling senses to have that career. And leave the eyes to the photographers

Last week we got a chance to stop by Icicle Ridge Winery in Leavenworth. I would not normally post a winery, but this one was exceptional. Its a log home that the owners actually live in. Yet they are open daily for tastings. Their wine was very good, and the company was even better. Dan and I have been to several wineries, but this one was different. The atmosphere was very welcoming. Worthy of putting on my blog I thought. :)

We will have this one day... I KNOW it. I want to walk through our vineyard of wine grapes savoring every smell, sound, and touch. It would be pure bliss. Absolute serenity.

Christmas is around the corner. Where did the year go? I assume it was my fault for not paying attention to the past 11 months. They flew by me without notice. Nevertheless, the holidays are here and I must somehow figure out how to plan a wedding, buy presents, plan family get-togethers, and attend all of the things I need to attend. Oh, and on top of all this, sell the calendars that I mentioned in my last post. I seriously doubt that I will be sitting down much the next 45 days. Ahhh...But guess what? I am off to Hawaii in February. That will make it all worth it. So not much time to blog today. And if I do post anything at all the next few weeks, it will be short and to the point. Which is probably better than reading my ramblings anyway, right? :) Happy Thanksgiving!

Here it is! In print, and in my hands shortly!! This is the second year that my business partner/friend and I have created this unique calendar. It will prove to be a better year, as Barnes and Noble will be picking this up and distributing it in the multitudes. Anyone interested in ordering one, just email us at kathy@winestyle.com

Its been an unproductive day at the office so far today. Winter is definitely setting in and real estate is slowing to a tortoise-like pace. I organized my desk, emailed some friends, made some phone calls in preparation for the wedding, etc etc etc. Oh yes, I am getting married on the 17th of Dec. That's right, you heard me. ONE MONTH away!! Not that I am stressed out in any way, noooo not me. (ha) I'll just be glad when it is said and done, and I get to spend the rest of my life loving that wonderful man. I never have felt this strong about anyone. Never have I had so much in common with another person, let alone a male! We were destined to be together...I just know it. He makes me feel good. Well, maybe " good' is an understatement. He makes me feel AMAZING!!! The way he looks at me, the things he does, the things he says. Just last night out of nowhere, he looks at me and says, "you have the most beautiful eyes". Did he HAVE to say that?! No. A couple wee

Thought I would do a little "not that it matters to anyone" list... I love doing things that benefit no one. 1. I absolutely love wine. Smell, taste, and concept. 2. Was born and raised in Prosser. Used to live in Oregon, hated it. Oregonians are a different breed of people for sure. 3. I can play the piano. Well, I USED to be able to play. It’s like riding a bike isn’t it? 4. I am the biggest procrastinator on earth. 5. I’ve been married twice, and am in complete lust/love with #3…This is the one that will last. Third times a charm, and all that jazz. 6. I over-analyze everything. If its symbolic, I will find it and pick it apart. 7. Try to be a good Christian….I hold God above all others. I love giving things to people. Whether it be material or an act. It is miraculous the way it completes me. 8. I’ve never taken any hard drugs. Never liked the feeling of not being in control. 9. Speaking of control. I like to have it, but rarely get it. Not that I am out of control, just

Okay I am writing in my blog once again…Am I poisoned by the need to feel that relaxation that precedes my writings of nonsense? It is a drug, and I crave it more today than most. As I sit here in my office, I am burdened by the thoughts of anger and the need to decapitate something. Thoughts I do NOT normally have. After all I am a confident, strong woman right?! In love and in a great frame of mind most the time… Yeah, well that gal jumped out the window, and stepped in front of a moving vehicle. It must be something in the air. It is Halloween, and since I am dressing up like a witch, I must be mentally preparing for the role. I rarely have this sinister side creep up in me. Yet when it does, I am surprised and shocked. Could be the fact that I am getting these enormous bills from my lawyer still. Sixty dollars for a “review” of a document??? Eighty dollars for a 5-minute phone call to my ex’s lawyer??? How do these people sleep at night?! Blood suckers, every last one of them.

To have a friend that never judges is one of God's greatest gifts. And to truly call someone the "best friend you have ever had" is an even bigger blessing. There are those people we get to know and life takes you away from them for a time. What makes a difference, is if you are brought back together, and you are as close, if not closer than before. I am so very blessed.

Winemaking at its best...In the backyard, wearing grubs! This was the crushing picture of Merlot grapes that had been through the fermentation process for a couple weeks. I LOVE the smell...If I could bottle that cellar smell and sell it, I'd be a very rich woman! This was a great experience to say the least. I could dig being a full time winemaker (vs. being realtor) ANYDAY...

Wow. I guess I didn't realize how long it had been since I sat down and wrote in this. I was actually doing rather well at conveying my thoughts and feelings until recently. If you have read my past blogs, you know that I am the queen of many things. Procrastination being number one. So again, I sit and let my thoughts flow to release something equivalent to adrenaline. What it is exactly, I've no clue. I just know that when I am finished writing my mind will be at complete ease, and I will be able to handle what lies ahead. Its a bit like praying I suppose. Its therapy to ease the mind. There actually have been many things that I have been doing lately. It has merely been self centered, but nonetheless chaotic. I am getting married in December to a wonderful, kind hearted, patient, loving man. He is everything I had dreamed a man should be and more. He worships the very ground that I walk on. But we walk together. We just have to stop walking sometimes so he can worship, but I

There is a parable in the Bible about not building your house on sand... So what is up with reconstructing a 400,000-person city below sea level in an area that's prone to enormous hurricanes? Even if you are not religious, its black and white! Now that all the choas is over for the most part, the thought process kicks in for the government and the citizens of this great city… What next? How do we prevent this from happening again? I see it on the nightly television news (media tainted of course). And I think, “Ummm…Duh….” Here is my two cents worth. Now, do NOT get me wrong. I feel for those poor souls down there. Losing loved ones, losing children, losing everything. It makes me almost nauseous. However, and this is just my opinion. Is it not their own fault? You live in a city that is assuredly going to have some sort of major hurricane during the year, and your residence is BELOW sea level. Seems like a no-brainer to me. Its about like the people who build their

My thoughts. My mind. I often think about how I have taken a total beating by it. Not in a literal sense, in a figurative way, of course.... The dictionary reads as follows; "A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences". I am in no way talking about my relationship, or my children. I am talking about what goes on in my head. For example, I was just thinking yesterday what a worthless person I was. Regardless of how I REALLY feel about myself, I let my thoughts take over the mood I was in. I didn't make enough money, I didn't do enough for my children, etc etc etc. It wasn't WHO I was. It was by no means WHAT I was. So why did I let myself believe these things, if even for a moment. Let alone a few hours. We, as humans, can be on top of the world. And by the actions or words of one person, be in the pits of hell the next moment. Caves of despair and self loathing. Maybe its a female thing, I don't know. I have known men to t

Its been a crazy few days for me. I haven't been consistent in my writing as I should be. I went to the fall convention for the Realtor officers a few days ago, which was an experience in of itself. Since I will be president of our valley association next year, I was required to attend. The politics in the association alone is amazing! I had no idea how much of an impact our contributions have in the legislative voting for Washington. The state level has a power that I have never seen before. We have voice...That was so cool to me! On the other hand, I hated being away from home. I am like a fish out of water when I am away from the love of my life. Never have these feeling ever crept up in me. It was like I was missing something the whole time I was there. My mind kept playing tricks on me as if I was forgetting something. That subtle voice in the back of your head that tells you something is amiss. Something was wrong, and didn't feel "right". I guess that is what b

Classy.... 

No...not WHINE, but wine.... Since I cant sleep I figured I would write a bit in the good ol' blog. Yeah, I am in the wine mood. There are many things that I think about everyday. From the kids, to my career. However, my thoughts lately are focused on wine. I am actually going to make it this year. Grapes will be harvested in two weeks, crushed, sulfites added, fermented, pressed, acid adjusted, and barreled. We have been asking questions, reading, and watching winemakers. Observation is a great thing. Looks like we will end up with about 32 cases by the time its all said and done. First step in the long process of starting a winery. Yep, I did say WINERY. Villa De La Reina will be the name. Those of you who do not know Spanish, it is "Village of the Queen". Appropriate don't you think?! I imagine it will take a year or two to get established, but its what I have always dreamed of and it is finally becoming a reality. I am so elated!! In January, God willing, I will b

I have no clue why, but I am compelled to write lately. I even started writing on a post-it earlier, when the computer was down. What is it? Is that NEED creeping back under my skin? The need to be at peace with having vented my emotions...Hmmm. Could be a number of things. Could just be that I am sitting here at work bored to death, too....;) I fell down my staircase yesterday. Halfway down, flipflops caught the edge of the carpet, and I flew down about 10 steps. Of course there is hard vinyl flooring at the bottom, and I was lying there praying that nothing was broken. It took a while before I regained my sanity and slowly moved different parts of my body to make sure they were not twisted to oblivion. Kaelan, the youngest, was leaning over me worried sick. "Mommy...are you ok? We need to call the doctors? Mommy...get up!!!" I let out a "Mommy is okay Kaelan" groan. I finally got up and nothing was broken. However, I did twist my ankle enough to make it swollen an

My amore' 

Solitude heals 

Being in love with a man who has three children of his own is quite the experience. One that I am loving every minute of. We embarked on a journey to the zoo with all six of them Monday. Both of us thinking that at any moment there would be hair pulling, punches thrown, and/or blood on the seats of the Suburban. Much to our surprise, they all did very well. I was amazed to say the least. Of course, having two portable DVD players in the back for them (with earphones for our own sanity), might have played a huge part in that serenity we felt driving four hours to get there. We did have the occasional, “Are we there Y-E-T??”. In which the response was always, “almost”. In other news, the big D is finally over. Yes, that’s right. I am officially divorced for the second time finally…after months of waiting and getting screwed by my lawyer. (In a non-literal sense, as she is a woman) $3000 later, its certified. Honestly, I don’t know why it took so long. I imagine it was the fac

There is a time in all our lives when we are alone. Not in the physical sense, but emotionally. I, myself, have walked around in a cloud of misery. Pain only inflicted by my own actions and thoughts. So I was thinking tonight...What makes a person lonely? Is it a lack of something to do? Someone to share a life with? Regret for past mistakes? No children, no parents, no family? WHAT is it?! Its one of those things that I have done a lot of thinking on. Personally, I was lonely for the past 10 years. Not for a lack of having someone around me at all times. But the simple fact that I had no one to communicate with on a level in which I was comfortable. No one that understood me and/or appreciated my intellect and insight on things. Its probable loneliness is merely a personal definition. My meaning is most definitely different than others. I had my boys. My family was near, and willing to be a part of my life constantly. It wasn't a deprivation of love from blood, for sure. I just ne

Well that's it. The youngest apple on my sibling tree is getting married next month. My parents no longer have any children at home, and all of them married. (well aside from the black sheep ME, that is divorced) I am elated for him. It is one of those "match made in heaven" relationships that he holds with his girlfriend/fiance. Misery/Happiness does love company though. I see the spark in his eyes, as I can recognize it in my own when I look in the mirror. You have to FEEL something to truly understand what someone else is going through. Pure, 100% empathy. Before I fell head over heels, everyone kissing/hugging/spooning/etc/etc, made me SICK. Now the voice in my head says, "OH LOOK AT THEM!!! THEY ARE SO CUTE!!"... Again, misery/happiness LOVES company. As for my life, summer is flying by faster than I thought it would. I am still completely in love. Things seem to be turning out for the best this time. I still hold that "fear" that something will g

Kids off to camp. So one week to gain some sanity back. Although I miss them already. Funny, how when they are fighting, I swear up and down that I am going to send them all to military school for a few months. Just like this morning...The middle one was persistently antagonizing my 13 yr old, NONSTOP. So by about 7:30 am, they were shredding each other to pieces (all before the departure of camp, mind you). I am driving to the bus, hands clinched on the steering wheel, ready to throw them both out of the window at any given moment. We get there, unpack the car, and my 9 yr old hugs me with tears in his eyes. I asked him if he was okay and he just said, "I am going to miss you mom". There you go, I went into a state of complete guilt. Guilt that I thought such angry thoughts. Guilt that I was just wishing a few days ago that they WERE at camp. Its something that every parent goes through I suppose. You don't appreciate what you have until you don't have it staring you

As I sit here and slowly close my eyes I take another deep breath And feel the wind pass through my body I'm the one in your soul Reflecting the light Protect the ones who hold you Cradling your inner child It's serenity In a place where I can hide I need serenity Nothing changes, days go by Where do we go when we just don't know And how do we relight the flame when it's cold Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing And when will we learn to control Tragic visions slowly stole my life Tore away everything Cheating me out of my time I'm the one who loves you No matter wrong or right And every day I hold you I hold you with my inner child

Comfort the weak... 

It has been a very crazy week so far. Running here, running there, and trying very hard to keep my head OUT of the clouds and focused. This weekend is the Gallery Walk and Wine Gala here in town. An event that I created, and have chaired for the past two years. Don't get me wrong, I love the sense of accomplishment that I get from this event. But I get so overwhelmed by the whole thing sometimes, that I feel as though I am going crazy half the time. Volunteers?? Yeah right. "Oh I will help, just let me know". Uh HUH. SURE. When the time comes, you are the only one left standing to get the job done. So, again, when stress levels are high, I begin to write. It helps me lower the level to a spot in which I can breathe again. Slow deep breaths. I actually just gave a 10 yr old girl a journal, so that she can write her feelings down. This little girl reminds me of myself when I was young. Full of emotions, and no where to release them, aside from crying. Its difficult being a

Control your thoughts...And you control your life.

What we need to discern about truly loving someone, is no great mystery. We all know what constitutes absolute adoring behavior; all we need to do is act on it, not continually question it. Over-analyzing it just confuses the issue and in the end brings us no closer to insight. We sometimes become too busy trying to figure it out, to remember that love is easy. It's we who make it complicated. I am just as guilty as anyone. I take everything and dissect it to the point of destruction. I need to learn to appreciate the now, and not worry about the why. My life is very good right now. I am in a place of serenity with my soul, children, and relationship. Indulge in the NOW….

Okay, ITS OFFICIAL!!! I am the biggest baby on the face of the earth. Last night I endured 2 hours of the most intense pain besides child birth that I can remember. Ironically, I volunteered for this heart warming thing called "Getting a tattoo". It was all down to a stupid choice long ago, when I thought it would be cool to initial my ex husbands name on my ankle. So what else is there to do on a Sunday night, but to go get it covered?? It was a wholesome family night. My 13 yr old got his ear pierced last night too. What a liberal mother I am...Sometimes I wonder if I should grow up and act like my mother and father. NA... So there I was, laying on the table, DYING. Almost positive that he was trying to stick that damn gun THROUGH my leg! I discovered something though! A person can ZONE out completely, and get to a higher level of consciousness. I actually got there. It was very strange how powerful my mind was in taking away some of the pain. Yep, I am a 32 year old rocker

Living in a small town seems to possess a world of pros and cons. Its up to the individual to decide if there are enough pros to justify living there. I, personally, am on the fence. I enjoy most of the people here. Love going to the store and saying hi to nearly every person I see. Also, the comfort I have in raising my children around a more stable environment as opposed to a larger, more corrupt city is a major plus. However...(there is always a BUT, isn't there?) The rumors and gossip in a small community are at times overpowering. There is basically no privacy whatsoever. The close-mindedness of most the people here is amazing. Take for example my homosexual friend. He has been through a living hell by some of the towns-folk. It blows my mind what a SMALL SMALL world that some live in. That is my question for the day... "How small is YOUR world?".

Creative minds at work... 

DEEP in thought... 

I would imagine one could describe me as arcane. For those of you who don't know what that means, look it up. Very few people 'get' me. Its a good thing, don't get me wrong. I enjoy feeling like the odd one out. Its empowering! I haven't been as faithful in my writing, and will try to get back up to speed. There have been a few things on my mind, and I lack the willpower to actually write my thoughts down. Which in turn leads to regret, and guilt. So upward and onward...Live and learn, and keep trying to kick my bad habits. I guess writing, like an unstable atom is hard to understand. The rules are open to interpretation and the formula is followed because of simple, traditional physics. But to make it special, to lift it to the level of wonder, takes something else. An understanding that goes beyond the norm. And so I search for it, hoping my mind will open. And like the theory of relativity, I will get it. If you have read any of my blogs, you know how much my ch

Winery boredom....;) 

BOYS RULE! 

The greatness of feeling complete is a feeling that one cannot put into words exactly. I've been in a whirlwind...One that has taken me from below ground, to the skies where I am soaring at this very moment. Have you ever just stepped back and took a good look at your life? Not just a glance. But a SERIOUS contemplation of your weaknesses and strengths? Thoughts about where you are, and why you are there? I believe with all my heart that God places you in situations for a reason. Those very reasons have become so clear to me now. I've had to endure the worst to appreciate the wonderful blessings that presently claim. I've taken solace in the fact that I have made some rotten choices in life. I used to regret the paths that I took. Now, however, I am glad that I made them. It has made me who I am today. Life for me right now is difficult, but I am happy, and most definitely COMPLETE. I praise God for everything he has brought upon my table. Life's lesson #1; Thank him ev

Okay, contemplating a few things today. One being motivation. Where does it come from? Is it an inner fuel, or do you receive it from outside influences? I feeling so motivated lately. Determined, and ready to take on the world. My power comes from inside though. But, that inside of mine is feeling very jump-started by a certain person. Not that I need someone to complete me, or give me compliments to boost my self esteem...noooo. But when you feel completely loved, things seem to fall into place. Complete adoration is what I am getting right now. I demanded it, and guess what?! I got it! Crazy thing is, the same adoration that I receive, I return...And that, in of itself, is the most amazing feeling ever. So back to the subject...Motivation. How do we get it? I have come to the conclusion that it matters not. Its irrelevant WHERE you get it from. As long as you have it, that's all that matters. Question asked, and answered. Don't you just LOVE how I think out loud? :)

Roots 

Life is good...Life is very GOOD...

Nunya 

Jesse's conferences were today. Before we went in he says, "uh mom, dont freak out ok?"...BAD sign. He got one F and the rest of the grades were not that wonderful either. What did I do? Well, there was no blood drawn, and I managed to keep my voice to a dull "talk through the teeth" vocalization. Found out that when I ask him if he's finished his homework, and he says yes...Well that just is something he has pulled right out of his ass, because it isnt true. Its not a question of whether or not he is bright, because that kid amazes me all the time. NO...its a problem of laziness. Plain and simple. Perhaps my procrastination weakness has spilled out onto my children. UGH! Anyway, he is going to get the grades way up this next quarter. And mom is going to help him everynight if I have to. I will not allow my boys to fail...If I have to sit up until midnight everynight helping them with homework, so be it. My babies are going to Harvard. :)

Okay, so I haven't been exactly consistent on this blog thing. Like everyone else on the face of this earth, I have been "busy". What an excuse, eh? If I am going to be completely honest, basically its either laziness or procrastination. I am leaning toward procrastination. Oh, which by the way, is my middle name. Its something that I am constantly trying to stay on top of. It seems as though if I am not passionate about it, it gets put off until tomorrow. Its a self-discipline character flaw. Now, granted, if I am INTO something with all my heart, its done now and done right. Yes, I will be the first one to admit I am not perfect. But I suppose its a good thing to be critical of one's self. As long as you are not overly critical, it is character building. Its the journey of self discovery that we all attempt to accomplish while we are living. I think that people need to take everything that they have been through and appreciate it. Whether it be good or bad. Everythi

Pure Bliss... 

Okay, back to normal after the last two posts. Was in the "downer" mood then. NOW, however, I am starting to realize what my life was missing. I never have felt complete. Like there was a missing piece to my soul. Have I found that? I honestly think I have. So many times in our lives we delve into depression over petty things. We worry about money, bills, and all the insignificance that we often get. What is important though? I have a tendency to do it myself actually. Not until we step outside the box and take a long hard look at ourselves and what we really want do we finally realize that all that stuff doesn't matter. Its kind of like my very religious father always told me..."You can accumulate possessions, and buy everything you can buy. But it will only make you temporarily happy. And you cant take any of it with you when you die." Possessions don't complete you. Only love does. True, pure, love... Whether it be from your children, or your soulmate. It

I will always love the false image I had of you....

Yeah, that's me. Songs mean something to me. I don't just hear them, I LISTEN. Heard this one yesterday by Rascal Flatts (I know...its country music... momentary insanity! ;) ) It got to me though. Its how I feel about my past, and my life. Very insightful. I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself. I've been burdened with blame, Trapped in the past for too long I'm movin' on... I've lived in this place and I know all the faces Each one is different, but they're always the same They mean me no harm, but it's time that I face it They'll never allow me to change But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong I'm movin' on... I'm movin' on At last I can see, Life has been patiently waiting for me And I know.. there's no guarantees, but I'm not.. alone There co

Can you imagine the joy I feel right now? My son just came in my office (the 4yr old) with his sitter, holding a little African Violet. She said that he threw a fit in the store, because he wanted to buy mommy flowers! I am so blessed....

Kaelan took this as I layed in bed with him.. 

As I was dragging my tush out of bed this morning, I looked out the window and it was raining. I love the rain, its very symbolic for me. Long story, and I will write my thoughts about rain later.... Now, I am NOT a morning person. Typical of most Aries, I tend to stay up late writing, thinking, or watching movies. I just cannot train myself to go to bed early. Its not in my nature. Hence, the lack of wanting to wake when 6:30am rolls around. But it was different this morning. Instead of waking myself up with coffee, I walked outside, lifted my head to the sky, and stood there in my PJs. (granted, for only about 1-2 minutes, but STILL) Wade says, "MOM! What are you doing!?"...Jesse, the oldest, says nonchalantly .... "Mom's lost her mind Wade, Mom has lost her mind." Funny, neither one of them said anything after that. They just sat there at the table eating their breakfast. Evidentially I cant do anything to shock them anymore. That could be a bad sign! ;) Afte

Contemplating life and death today. I've had two people I know die this week, and it really sets my mind into the "what if I died tomorrow" mode. The only thing I think of is my children. How lucky am I?! I have three amazing, talented, intelligent, outgoing, loving boys. I have a fulfilling career and a million side projects that make me feel complete. I imagine the only thing I am missing is that person to share my thoughts with. That one man who understands me, adores me, and that I adore just as much. Its a double edge sword. Content, yet not. Its like my father once told me when I was about 17... "You will never be satisfied. Even if you were hung with a brand new rope!". I never got that until recently. Maybe he was right. So yes, my life is amazing. I love being alive, and I love my kids. YET...I still long for that missing piece of the puzzle. Will I ever find the one that fits? I sure find myself asking that question a lot and sighing more than a normal

How ADORABLE is he??!!

As I sit here at my desk, I am overwhelmed by the color yellow. That's me....Reminder of reminders of the reminder. I have post-its on my computer, post-its on the dash of my car, and post-its on the mirror in my bathroom. I suppose that it saves me from forgetting appointments, birthdays, or getting yelled at by the children for not picking them up from practice. And yes, this has happened (Mother of the year) due to my lack of NOT writing on a "little yellow sticky thing", as my four yr old says. Not until I sat down to dinner and noticed one of them was missing, would I gasp in horror, "Oh my God! I forgot Jesse!" Throwing the kids in the car, and racing down the road. With the picture in my mind of my frozen son laying on the sidewalk curled up in a ball. A mother always thinks the worst. Word of caution though: If you have a 12 yr old, and you are extremely late picking him up, be prepared to get a severe tongue lashing. "Why are you late? HOW could yo

Lord's Prayer 

Think I will go with the Pinot. Sometimes I feel like I was destined to live in France. Wine is such a intriguing part of my life. Not only consummation, but the industry too. Its scary how that particular industry is so 'hush hush'...When in reality, winemakers are the unspoken Hollywood hero's. Five years ago, I really didn't care for it. Its definitely an acquired taste, and I now cant get enough of it. So much so, that I am now reading up on enology. (aka winemaking) Its very interesting, and I love a good challenge..:) So, second post...Not as long, but my thoughts nonetheless.

Temptation... 

Now wouldn't everyone give all their worldly possessions to go back and claim THAT title? Actually, most men wouldn't..But I could guarantee that every woman I know would gladly go back and do it over. In a different car, with a different guy...You know all those HUGE decisions we have when we are young. I am feeling very content tonight for some reason. Its something that I seem to rarely experience lately. Could be the fact that I engrossed myself in Dan Brown after the house was quiet. Amazing author to say the least. I have found myself in Barnes and Noble more and more these days. I feel a sense of intelligence when I am surrounded by brilliance. Its comforting. Being a single parent, you need all the moments of sanity you can grasp. There is so much chaos raising three boys. Especially when one of them is now beginning the 'puberty' stage. Lord Help ME! Of course I felt the necessity to have the 'talk' with him the other day. In which he proceeded to expla