Sound of Madness

I have been reading a lot lately about faith and trusting in God's love and protection. It is something I am learning to do on a daily basis. Putting my hope in something that I cannot see is from the outside ridiculous. But I FEEL his presence. So I know he is with me... He will deliver me from the chaos of this world, and protect me from demonic influences. He will bless me because I have faith. I trust his word, and I am engulfed with HOPE.

I'm tired. Mentally spent is an understatement. Where is the woman who wrote on this blog in 2005? What happened to ME and who is this person staring back at me in the mirror? I am at the end of my rope, and not a whole lot of motivation to hang on.

So now that I am unemployed for the first time in years, 'I'm bored' is the understatement for the day. You would think that ultimately I would savor the moment of peace. But, no. I am sitting here on the internet, applying for jobs and surfing. Seriously?! I also am having a very hard time focusing on one thing at a time. Perhaps it is in my nature. Or perhaps it is the nature of the "stay at home mom" beast. What do people do all day?? Honestly! There is only so many things I can clean. I go for a walk, drive in my car, call friends, facebook, or jaunt to the coffee shop. Seriously, this madness has to stop. I caught myself today driving around looking at houses. FOR AN HOUR! God, grant me one of these jobs I am applying for... Time to get back to blogging, time to focus, and time to get a JOB.

So many days pass in between my writings anymore. I feel like I have given up. I've learned even more about myself since the last time I wrote. I may even have learned a lifetime of things since I STARTED this blog. I no longer am in the real estate profession. I have taken on a new venture of working as an account executive at an ABC television affiliate. I actually LOVE working here. I love the people, and there is so much excitement around me. "Buzz" as they say. Again, the road to my madness has lead me to sales. Perhaps it is meant for me to be in this field. Every time I turn around, I am hit with a personality test. Every test tells me that I am a sales-type person. So, my life since 2005? I married my best friend. He is everything to me in more ways than one. His mother passed away last year, so it has been a difficult road to get him back to semi-normalcy. My oldest son moved to Oregon to be with his father. The other 5 children are thriving and g