Sound of Madness

Back to RADIO. Out of the hotel ashes emerges an account executive once again. Too good to pass up, and personally I like the "harder I work, the more I get paid" scene. It's time for good things to happen. Favor. Financial blessing. Health. Supernatural awesomeness. Good things ahead Michele, good things ahead.

Today is a lyrical type of day. So instead of writing my own thoughts.... Here you go. It is how I feel about God today. I want to be in love with him as much as I am Dan. To be completely overwhelmed with worship. Lifehouse. Everything. Find me here, And speak to me. I want to feel you, I need to hear you. You are the light, That's leading me, To the place, Where I find peace again. You are the strength, That keeps me walking. You are the hope, That keeps me trusting. You are the light, To my soul. You are my purpose, You're everything. How can I stand here with you, And not be moved by you? Would you tell me, How could it be, Any better than this? You calm the storms, And you give me rest. You hold me in your hands, You won't let me fall. You steal my heart, And you take my breath away. Would you take me in, Take me deeper now. And how can I stand here with you, And not be moved by you? Would you tell me, How could it be, Any b

I've been reading a blog of a dear friend of mine who passed away. It saddens me to read how amazing she was just by how she lived her life. What a true testament to how a wife and mother should be. In light of recent events, the movie theater killings, it puzzles me as to why good people who make a difference die. While the jerks of the world get to live and cause havoc. It makes me really want to dig in and be a better mother. Granted I have little time left, as they are getting older. But I do love my kids more than life itself and on any given day would give my LIFE for them. I guess that is why it's so hard to see them struggling with teenage problems and rebellion. I want the best for them. I want to see them happy, yet thriving and being an asset to this world. I long to see them make a difference. I can see Jesse inventing things, engineering something, and of course serving our country. I see Wade opening up a surf shop, traveling the world, ziplining, and

What every parent strives for is to have their child be the best they can be. To have a child that loves and respects you. A child that goes to school and lives a normal healthy and happy life. Gets decent grades, goes to dances, has nice friends, gets a job and a car, and prepares for their future as they walk with their class proudly in cap and gown. There is a glitch in the system. I have made huge mistakes in my life. Mistakes that I, myself, have asked forgiveness for. Now those mistakes are now rearing their ugly head. The regrets I have are many. Even more so now that my son is going down a destructive path. I feel as though it is my fault. So now I have to accept the role as the "mean" parent and take everything away. I can handle him hating me for now, as long as it's not forever. What needs to be done, needs to be done now. Time to clean out his closet. New friends, new hobbies, and new attitude. If this doesn't work, then Job Corps it is..

My mind keeps going back to Haiti today. Guilt almost consumes me that I keep forgetting what I vowed to do when I came back in January. Such a mixture of people there. Most are kind, loving, and very eager to try and talk to you. Especially the children. Almost all of them want to say hello and get a picture. Their innocence and pure excitement was something I have never seen any child in America possess. Granted there were residents that were not happy we were there. But in light of the earthquakes, they mostly were elated to have outside help of food and labor. The ruins were almost unbearable to look at. I kept thinking while I was there, "if every movie star and professional athlete pitched in a couple million to send down here, what a difference it would make." Greed overtakes most in America. Haiti resources are scarce. Money is even more scarce. A piece of my heart still waits in Haiti for me to go back. Considering how short life is, to make a differe

If I could take my children's pain away, I would. It breaks my heart to see any of them suffer. My teenage son is going through a lot of rejection issues right now. I tried to talk to him about it, but he has things buried deep. Roots that he needs to majorly deal with. Unfortunately the roots of his rejection are something that I have no control over. I was sitting here thinking... This is what God must feel like when we are brokenhearted. He must really want to take our pain away, but has to let us deal with it in order for us to come out of it stronger. Just as he allows us to suffer for a time, I must let my son suffer in order for him to be a better person. With guidance on how to handle things, he may just become the most successful child we have. It is "getting" him to that point that will be challenging. In a perfect world every child would never hurt. Unfortunately we live in a very imperfect one. Dysfunction is rampant. My goal as a parent is to ma

Rolling dough in Haiti. Miss the people, miss the simplicity of life there. This makes me stay positive.

Believe me, I really WANT to think positive. It is almost as if I have to force myself sometimes to be in that mind set. Being a little EMO is in my nature. It is just how I am. Lately though, I have been wondering about the law of attraction. Does it really have a profound affect on what you get? If I tell myself how rich I am will it work? Last night as we lay in bed, my husband says to me, "It's going to be good." Meaning that it is all downhill from here. That great things were just around the corner. I kinda feel that too! The sun is starting to peek out. The kids are the hardest part of my life right now. I have a sweet marriage, good job, and awesome friends. These teen years are staring to weigh on me though. However, they seem to be going fast. So I am turning over a new leaf. On a "journey", so to speak. Life most definitely has its horrible moments. But for now, I choose to think positive.

It's been so long since I have had some down time to write. My thoughts are not as emo-ishly active as they used to me. It's been a very strange couple months. Nothing out of the ordinary. I still feel a great sense of purpose to do something other than what I am doing. But I plug along. I don't have any goals and that is what bothers me lately. It's almost like I am standing in a pool of stagnant water. Sometimes I think I have given up on my goals because I can never finish anything. I start something with enthusiasm, and it fizzles as fast as it fired. I've come to accept this personality trait about me, but it really isn't getting me very far. It's one of the great mysteries of life. Can a person CHANGE a personality trait? I am thinking no... Question is, how do you embrace that you never follow through? Answer is, you can't! It's not a good trait to have. I need some follow through help. Seriously.

Teenagers are killing me slowly. What part of "do you have any homework?" is confusing? Thank goodness for Edline, and I can check progress. Somehow I think it may be too late. Please God get me through these next two years... UGH!!!