Sound of Madness

Being in love with a man who has three children of his own is quite the experience. One that I am loving every minute of. We embarked on a journey to the zoo with all six of them Monday. Both of us thinking that at any moment there would be hair pulling, punches thrown, and/or blood on the seats of the Suburban. Much to our surprise, they all did very well. I was amazed to say the least. Of course, having two portable DVD players in the back for them (with earphones for our own sanity), might have played a huge part in that serenity we felt driving four hours to get there. We did have the occasional, “Are we there Y-E-T??”. In which the response was always, “almost”. In other news, the big D is finally over. Yes, that’s right. I am officially divorced for the second time finally…after months of waiting and getting screwed by my lawyer. (In a non-literal sense, as she is a woman) $3000 later, its certified. Honestly, I don’t know why it took so long. I imagine it was the fac

There is a time in all our lives when we are alone. Not in the physical sense, but emotionally. I, myself, have walked around in a cloud of misery. Pain only inflicted by my own actions and thoughts. So I was thinking tonight...What makes a person lonely? Is it a lack of something to do? Someone to share a life with? Regret for past mistakes? No children, no parents, no family? WHAT is it?! Its one of those things that I have done a lot of thinking on. Personally, I was lonely for the past 10 years. Not for a lack of having someone around me at all times. But the simple fact that I had no one to communicate with on a level in which I was comfortable. No one that understood me and/or appreciated my intellect and insight on things. Its probable loneliness is merely a personal definition. My meaning is most definitely different than others. I had my boys. My family was near, and willing to be a part of my life constantly. It wasn't a deprivation of love from blood, for sure. I just ne

Well that's it. The youngest apple on my sibling tree is getting married next month. My parents no longer have any children at home, and all of them married. (well aside from the black sheep ME, that is divorced) I am elated for him. It is one of those "match made in heaven" relationships that he holds with his girlfriend/fiance. Misery/Happiness does love company though. I see the spark in his eyes, as I can recognize it in my own when I look in the mirror. You have to FEEL something to truly understand what someone else is going through. Pure, 100% empathy. Before I fell head over heels, everyone kissing/hugging/spooning/etc/etc, made me SICK. Now the voice in my head says, "OH LOOK AT THEM!!! THEY ARE SO CUTE!!"... Again, misery/happiness LOVES company. As for my life, summer is flying by faster than I thought it would. I am still completely in love. Things seem to be turning out for the best this time. I still hold that "fear" that something will g