Focus and Patience...I don't seem to possess

Another day, another drama. Funny, the old cliché used to be ‘dollar’. Not in my life. It is usually calm. But in the divorce and children life…there is ALWAYS drama of some sort. Without going into to much detail, I will just say that I try to be a reasonable, calm person. Alas I AM AN ARIES. Look it up if you do not comprehend this. I do not have an ounce of patience. I am not one to put up with a lot of unreasonableness. I most certainly am not one to take any negativity when it comes to my children and step children or the way we parent them. So where does that leave me? I suppose it leaves me trying to do the best I can to raise my children right, and to love my husband like he deserves to be loved. And it leaves me wanting to punch something over and over.

It is so hard to be a step-parent. I love them like they were my own. But they are not my own, and I am fine with that. I never talk bad about their mother around them, and try to be the best person I can be for them. But when you have a constant reminder that they are not yours biologically….Well, you know. The difficulty arises, as I am sure it does with Dan too. It is just not an easy task to take on the stepparenting role. But one that we are both willing to do, because of our love for one another. We are there last hope of normalcy. Period.

I really cannot go into it, or I will be here all night griping about how unfair the whole ex thing is. I just want to live my life, love my kids, love my husband, serve God, and do the right thing in regards to life in general. For those of you that have been through the garbage that I have just know that you are not alone. It’s been a bumpy road for me. I have been through more things that you can ever imagine. But I am here, and I am happy with my husband. He and I share a considerate and adoring love that most will never have.

Focus, Michele, FOCUS… It is amazing how much I pray for sanity. My mind wanders so much, I cant even keep track half the time.

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