Sound of Madness

Godsmack and Rob Zombie...Here I come! (Oh yeah, and Shinedown...sorry) One week and counting. Godsmack has been one of my favorite bands ever. I am so excited to go, it is killing me. If I could meet Sully, and tell him of the many times I listened to his songs during rough times in my life...Wow. That band was my anger management, and my strength through the divorce, and during the peak of the my hatred for everything I was going through. I felt so empowered. If I was hurt or upset, Godsmack was IN the stereo and cranked to levels unheard of. I've never been to White River Amph. before, if you can imagine (sheltered poor soul). The experience will be even more memorable since I will have Dan with me. When we first started met, that was the one thing that drew us together. Our mutual love of talented, meaningful ROCK. Now, don't get me wrong. Aerosmith was the ultimate thrill for me. I nearly had a heart attack seeing Steven Tyler in real life. I'd never even admit it if S...

Wow, that was an amazingly fast summer! I haven't written in this for so long, I almost feel guilty. I really need to spend some more quality time reflecting on my life, and LESS time worrying about the small stuff. I've been a busy person this summer, as has my husband. Between his shoulder surgery, and the kids' sports...We've barely had time to breathe. We went to Williams Lake a few times, and had the time of our lives. I recommend Klinks! It is a great place to stay and eat. Very 'kid' friendly. And they have the nicest restaurant with a wine bar! (I know...a lake with a classy place to eat. Its almost an oxy-moron!) Other than that, I have been taking online college courses. I am really wanting to get out of real estate by spring. Its definitely taken its toll on my mind and spirit. Commission work is for the birds! Yeah, when I get paid, its great. But the in between part is way too stressful. Will this close? Will I get enough money to catch up? Hurry ...

Insomnia...That seems to be the diagnosis. All these thought fly through my head at night while I am trying to get to sleep. Regardless of what time I have to get up, the sleeplessness overtakes me. What do I lay and think about, you ask? Work, kids, money, what I have to do the next day, how hot/cold it is, how lumpy the bed is, how the sheet just came off the edge of the bed for the million'th time and my shoulder is now touching the mattress( I HATE THAT) .....You name it, and I will confirm that I have thought about it all! Yes, I do take an occational sleeping pill. However, i just dont want to get hooked on those things. Honestly I think it is more of an inablility to shut things off at night, than it is stress. Ah well. I'll just keep plugging along. Now the weather is up in the 100's, I think I am losing my mind. Warm weather is great, but this crap is for the birds (in AFRICA). Insanity from lack of sleep and hot air is creeping in. Quote for the day.... What if th...

AH...To be a child and live carefree in the arms of mother summer. To watch your children play and laugh are the greatests gifts known to man. We took all of them to Williams Lake last weekend, and they had such a great time! Fishing, swimming, paddle-boating, and exploring. To quote my husband, "that was the best father's day I have ever had". Summer can be hectic, indeed. But I think the more things we do with the kids, the funner it is. :)

Well, now that my son is almost 14, he has entered the world of net-meeting. My phone rang a Baton Rouge number yesterday. With a young girls voice asking for him on the other end. After plugging for information, I got it out of him that he has met her on the internet. "Have you completely lost your mind giving my number out on the internet...ARE YOU INSANE!!??", was the only thing I could think to say. So being the wonderful mother that I am, reamed him about giving personal information out on the net and the dangers of it as a young person. Fine one to talk, aren't I. :) I remember as a child having "pen-pals", and writing hand written letters to people across the country. What a long way we have come since then. I am the first one to be thankful for the internet, but a part of me still longs for those forgotten days of picking up a pen. We now live in an age of instant information. People, places, and phone numbers. I used this technology to google this phone...

Its been decided. The pain I swore I would never inflict again, I now long for. So here it is. My next tattoo to be placed on the nape of my neck. If you are intelligent enough to read the Hebrew language, then you know exactly what it means. It's a personal statement of my strong belief in Christ. It is his pain that must be a reminder to me of what he did. So on to tattoo number 3. Its a slippery slope indeed.

Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.

The latest lower back tattoo!!! Its rather symbolic for me. If you don't know the phoenix story, look it up. Rising from the ashes is where I am. Dead, but now alive! :) And YES it did hurt more than childbirth! More than my ankle by FAR!!

This past weekend was Spring Barrel tasting for all the wineries. I had an amazing time with my husband, his cousin Nancy, and a couple from Seattle. We started at 11 and tasted wine from different wineries until 5. It’s so nice to hang out with intelligent, funny, and easy-to-get-along-with people. Being in this small town gets you a bit depressed, as there are not a lot of people here that are cultured or smart enough to talk to on a level that we are used to. I think that Dan and I need that feeling of normalcy hanging around others that aren’t from Hicksville. It was a great weekend, and I feel enormously lucky to have gone to my first barrel tasting with good friends and the man that I love more than life itself. Other than that, my days have been good in a round about way. I have applied for some managerial positions, and actually have an interview on Thursday. I guess it is high time that I get a normal job with normal hours, which pays on a NORMAL schedule! It’s been s...

As spring goes into full swing, I am reminded of the things in life that make it all worth living. The leaves on the trees re-emerge, flowers blooming, and the scent of fresh cut grass fills the air. Once again the children can engage in recreation outside until dusk falls. Its times like this that I consider myself very blessed. Raising six children can be such a financial struggle sometimes. I was actually in a pretty nasty funk Friday worrying about how we were going to make ends meet. But yesterday, we took them all fishing, and my pity party was ended abruptly. At the end of the day, the littlest one had just taken a bath and crawled up in my arms. That, in my mind, was what was important. It’s the small things in life that we stress about that do not matter. I suppose I need to keep reminding myself of all the blessings that God has given me. I have the most loving husband anyone could ask for. Six healthy, beautiful, bright kids who I adore completely. Food to eat, a...

The longer I am away from Vegas, the more I want to go back! What is it about that place that attracts people like magnets? I am not sure exactly WHAT it is, as I have been trying to figure it out semi-unsuccessfully. It must just be the ambiance, or the fact that you can walk around with a drink in your hand at any hour of the day. Las Vegas is a place to escape without being judged or hated. You can wake up at noon, and stay up until morning. Nothing closes, and there are no RULES. Its almost a fantasy city. So maybe that is it...Its an escape unlike any other place on earth. At least that is what it was for me. As you can tell here....I was oblivious to the rest of the world besides my husband, and this was at 5:30 in the morning!! As soon as I get an awesome commission check, we're going back!! :)

Its been a while. Yes, I too am amongst the millions who do not take time for myself to reflect on what I have and been given in life. I do think about writing in my blog, but having such a busy life I forget and (THE MICHELE QUALITY) procrastinate. Ahhh...how do I dare catch up on what I have been up to?! Well, lets see. The end of February, Dan and I went to Vegas for a week and had the ultimate time of my life. I cant even begin to tell how I felt while I was there. Its amazing how I want to go back so bad right now. It was 7 days of NO children, and pure fun with my best friend. We did so much while we were there. It was just constant running around and seeing what we could see in the time that we were allotted. I did have the time of my life, and I would be willing to stake my life on that. I cant even begin to describe how I feel right now. I had lunch with my mother today, and all I could talk about was how great my life was. I almost feel undeserved. The winery is going as plan...

Say Cheeese...and look ANYWHERE but the camera. See how obedient I am?

The wonderful man of my life took his girls to the 'father/daughter' dance tonight. The girls were so beautiful and exited! It was great to see how he interacts with them. I put a TINY bit of make up on the older one, and he was not really thrilled...HA! Its going to interesting to see how he does when those apples that inhabit his eyes, are 16. And let me tell you, they are going to be gorgeous girls (non-bias opinion of course). I guess that is why God has placed me in his life, to help them introduce the boys. :) I have such a great role. I am NOT their mother, but more like an older "stepmother, friend, confidant". Maybe the infamous WICKED STEP MOTHER is just a myth. Maybe, just maaaybe, she is someone who adores her step children just as much as she does her own. We all know how much I am into the adoration thing, now, dont we? hmmm...

I have officially entered the real world. Yes, I finally got a new laptop! Now, how cool is this? Laying in bed, writing in my blog. Wow. It actually has this card installed with wireless, so I can be "virtually" anywhere, and be online. Okay, I will admit, I am really impressed with the advances we have made as humans. Think about it. We have come from the wheel, to electricity, to the telephone, to vinyl records, to VHS, cell phone, to CDs, to wireless (communications in "thin air")...Tell me that doesn't just freak you out just a LITTLE!? It is so awesome. Anyway, things are going great being married to my best friend. He still ceases to amaze me. I can be so bitchy sometimes, yet he still shows me everyday how much he loves me. Everyday I feel like this is the best day of my life. Who needs to win the lottery, when you have everything you ever wanted right in front of you????? The wine thing is going good... We occasionally check the PH levels, and the brix...

2006. Here we are in a new year. I've got a new life, and a fresh outlook on life. For so long, walking in circles..Now am on the path I was suppose to follow. Going down the road hand in hand with an amazing family. Actually GOING somewhere now, instead of banging my head against a wall in frustration. My world now has all these colors that I have not seen since I was a child. Its amazing how when you are happy, everything seems brighter. Everything smells better. The sounds around you are sharp. Life is something you want to embrace, savoring each day as if it were your last. I took an offer to work for Re/Max. Yes, still real estate. But more opportunities for me to make a lot more money than I have in the past. Hopefully I can make a killing and build that dream home that we long for. It may take a while, but in the long run it will be worth it. Small post, but a post nonetheless... Happy New Year!

There is a calming feeling that becomes me when I think of the things I have endured in my life, opposed to where I am right now. The many times in my existence that I had wished I was born someone else are many. The nights I cried myself to sleep are also...many. Now, however, there are no more sleepless nights, no more tears, and no more wondering why I was cursed. For the only thoughts that creep into my head are that of happiness, hope and freedom. 32 years and finally free from misery's grip. A prisoner in a dungeon deep Sat musing silently; His head was rested on his hand, His elbow on his knee. Turned he his thoughts to future times Or are they backward cast? For freedom is he pining now Or mourning for the past? ~Anne Bronte

That had to have been the best day of my life. The children did great, and everything turned out perfect. It was very romantic, and as we read our vows to each other, I had this sense of calmness fall over me. It was sureal. I am on a high right now. We were truly very happy. Long deep breaths are in order....Whew!

This has got to be the most chaotic week I will ever have. Hopefully by Saturday I wont be dragging myself down the aisle, barely awake. I seriously doubt I will sleep at all the next few days. I am not getting the dreaded cold feet though. I am actually looking forward to marrying that man. He has been so awesome lately. Amidst my craziness, he is calm and so helpful. 5 more days until the happiest day of my life.