How I live my life


Pure surrender...

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Excused Absence

Its been a crazy few days for me. I haven't been consistent in my writing as I should be. I went to the fall convention for the Realtor officers a few days ago, which was an experience in of itself. Since I will be president of our valley association next year, I was required to attend. The politics in the association alone is amazing! I had no idea how much of an impact our contributions have in the legislative voting for Washington. The state level has a power that I have never seen before. We have voice...That was so cool to me! On the other hand, I hated being away from home. I am like a fish out of water when I am away from the love of my life. Never have these feeling ever crept up in me. It was like I was missing something the whole time I was there. My mind kept playing tricks on me as if I was forgetting something. That subtle voice in the back of your head that tells you something is amiss. Something was wrong, and didn't feel "right". I guess that is what b...
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Am I a masochist?

My thoughts. My mind. I often think about how I have taken a total beating by it. Not in a literal sense, in a figurative way, of course.... The dictionary reads as follows; "A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences". I am in no way talking about my relationship, or my children. I am talking about what goes on in my head. For example, I was just thinking yesterday what a worthless person I was. Regardless of how I REALLY feel about myself, I let my thoughts take over the mood I was in. I didn't make enough money, I didn't do enough for my children, etc etc etc. It wasn't WHO I was. It was by no means WHAT I was. So why did I let myself believe these things, if even for a moment. Let alone a few hours. We, as humans, can be on top of the world. And by the actions or words of one person, be in the pits of hell the next moment. Caves of despair and self loathing. Maybe its a female thing, I don't know. I have known men to t...
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Rain ROCKS

As I was dragging my tush out of bed this morning, I looked out the window and it was raining. I love the rain, its very symbolic for me. Long story, and I will write my thoughts about rain later.... Now, I am NOT a morning person. Typical of most Aries, I tend to stay up late writing, thinking, or watching movies. I just cannot train myself to go to bed early. Its not in my nature. Hence, the lack of wanting to wake when 6:30am rolls around. But it was different this morning. Instead of waking myself up with coffee, I walked outside, lifted my head to the sky, and stood there in my PJs. (granted, for only about 1-2 minutes, but STILL) Wade says, "MOM! What are you doing!?"...Jesse, the oldest, says nonchalantly .... "Mom's lost her mind Wade, Mom has lost her mind." Funny, neither one of them said anything after that. They just sat there at the table eating their breakfast. Evidentially I cant do anything to shock them anymore. That could be a bad sign! ;) Afte...
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