Sound of Madness

My thoughts. My mind. I often think about how I have taken a total beating by it. Not in a literal sense, in a figurative way, of course.... The dictionary reads as follows; "A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences". I am in no way talking about my relationship, or my children. I am talking about what goes on in my head. For example, I was just thinking yesterday what a worthless person I was. Regardless of how I REALLY feel about myself, I let my thoughts take over the mood I was in. I didn't make enough money, I didn't do enough for my children, etc etc etc. It wasn't WHO I was. It was by no means WHAT I was. So why did I let myself believe these things, if even for a moment. Let alone a few hours. We, as humans, can be on top of the world. And by the actions or words of one person, be in the pits of hell the next moment. Caves of despair and self loathing. Maybe its a female thing, I don't know. I have known men to t...

Its been a crazy few days for me. I haven't been consistent in my writing as I should be. I went to the fall convention for the Realtor officers a few days ago, which was an experience in of itself. Since I will be president of our valley association next year, I was required to attend. The politics in the association alone is amazing! I had no idea how much of an impact our contributions have in the legislative voting for Washington. The state level has a power that I have never seen before. We have voice...That was so cool to me! On the other hand, I hated being away from home. I am like a fish out of water when I am away from the love of my life. Never have these feeling ever crept up in me. It was like I was missing something the whole time I was there. My mind kept playing tricks on me as if I was forgetting something. That subtle voice in the back of your head that tells you something is amiss. Something was wrong, and didn't feel "right". I guess that is what b...

Classy.... 

No...not WHINE, but wine.... Since I cant sleep I figured I would write a bit in the good ol' blog. Yeah, I am in the wine mood. There are many things that I think about everyday. From the kids, to my career. However, my thoughts lately are focused on wine. I am actually going to make it this year. Grapes will be harvested in two weeks, crushed, sulfites added, fermented, pressed, acid adjusted, and barreled. We have been asking questions, reading, and watching winemakers. Observation is a great thing. Looks like we will end up with about 32 cases by the time its all said and done. First step in the long process of starting a winery. Yep, I did say WINERY. Villa De La Reina will be the name. Those of you who do not know Spanish, it is "Village of the Queen". Appropriate don't you think?! I imagine it will take a year or two to get established, but its what I have always dreamed of and it is finally becoming a reality. I am so elated!! In January, God willing, I will b...

I have no clue why, but I am compelled to write lately. I even started writing on a post-it earlier, when the computer was down. What is it? Is that NEED creeping back under my skin? The need to be at peace with having vented my emotions...Hmmm. Could be a number of things. Could just be that I am sitting here at work bored to death, too....;) I fell down my staircase yesterday. Halfway down, flipflops caught the edge of the carpet, and I flew down about 10 steps. Of course there is hard vinyl flooring at the bottom, and I was lying there praying that nothing was broken. It took a while before I regained my sanity and slowly moved different parts of my body to make sure they were not twisted to oblivion. Kaelan, the youngest, was leaning over me worried sick. "Mommy...are you ok? We need to call the doctors? Mommy...get up!!!" I let out a "Mommy is okay Kaelan" groan. I finally got up and nothing was broken. However, I did twist my ankle enough to make it swollen an...

My amore' 

Solitude heals