Sound of Madness

Kids off to camp. So one week to gain some sanity back. Although I miss them already. Funny, how when they are fighting, I swear up and down that I am going to send them all to military school for a few months. Just like this morning...The middle one was persistently antagonizing my 13 yr old, NONSTOP. So by about 7:30 am, they were shredding each other to pieces (all before the departure of camp, mind you). I am driving to the bus, hands clinched on the steering wheel, ready to throw them both out of the window at any given moment. We get there, unpack the car, and my 9 yr old hugs me with tears in his eyes. I asked him if he was okay and he just said, "I am going to miss you mom". There you go, I went into a state of complete guilt. Guilt that I thought such angry thoughts. Guilt that I was just wishing a few days ago that they WERE at camp. Its something that every parent goes through I suppose. You don't appreciate what you have until you don't have it staring you...

As I sit here and slowly close my eyes I take another deep breath And feel the wind pass through my body I'm the one in your soul Reflecting the light Protect the ones who hold you Cradling your inner child It's serenity In a place where I can hide I need serenity Nothing changes, days go by Where do we go when we just don't know And how do we relight the flame when it's cold Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing And when will we learn to control Tragic visions slowly stole my life Tore away everything Cheating me out of my time I'm the one who loves you No matter wrong or right And every day I hold you I hold you with my inner child

Comfort the weak... 

It has been a very crazy week so far. Running here, running there, and trying very hard to keep my head OUT of the clouds and focused. This weekend is the Gallery Walk and Wine Gala here in town. An event that I created, and have chaired for the past two years. Don't get me wrong, I love the sense of accomplishment that I get from this event. But I get so overwhelmed by the whole thing sometimes, that I feel as though I am going crazy half the time. Volunteers?? Yeah right. "Oh I will help, just let me know". Uh HUH. SURE. When the time comes, you are the only one left standing to get the job done. So, again, when stress levels are high, I begin to write. It helps me lower the level to a spot in which I can breathe again. Slow deep breaths. I actually just gave a 10 yr old girl a journal, so that she can write her feelings down. This little girl reminds me of myself when I was young. Full of emotions, and no where to release them, aside from crying. Its difficult being a ...